I want to make music. I want to act. I want to be an artist. I want to live a life of creativity and passion walking hand in hand through life.
The ship is sinking and the sea is laughing at me, there are no lifeboats i can see around me at this time and it’s only me with this broken vessel that the sea is slowly consuming and claiming it’s own… there’s was a girl but i’m hoping she is nestled safely in the lifeboat that accompanied the now swallowed ship, i don’t where she is right now but i know she’s out there mending wounds, caused by my idiocy and protecting herself from more pain, i don’t blame her. I’m the one who sent this now fractured vessel into the storm and i should have acted smarter.
I float in this sea, waiting… waiting for something that i don’t know what actually is. Everything is unknown around me, i struggle to stay above the surface sometimes battling being engulfed by my own mistake.
But all i can do is stay above the water.
Wait… for either the water to fill my lungs and witness the journey’s end or see that lifeboat next to me.
I’m not sure what will happen… noone ever does.
The Big Picture
Imagine life is a canvas.
And the world and everyone in it are colours waiting for you to find.
When you are born, your parents add the first bit of colour to your canvas; you slowly grow and brighten with the friendships you make with people who will end up being your support, more colour to your canvas.
There will be stages where you drop in colour and enthusiasm, a melancholy chapter that result in that bright self losing some of its spark.
However, friends will paint over those times and this is where their support keeps your canvas bright.
Hopefully many moments will add a deeper intensity to the overall good feelings of your canvas until you believe it cannot be perfected anymore.
But, you realise that there is something missing… a single colour… that special single colour.
You search everywhere for it and have no hope in finding it, until, in the last second before give up, you find her, that special colour that makes you, your canvas a masterpiece.
Many don’t find that one colour that completes them, but I consider myself lucky, because in all its rarities I have found mine… her.
She is is that one colour that stands out on my canvas, the only colour that i truly need.
So the final countdown begins till i meet this amazing girl… Saturday please be sunny.
Jerk of the week.
I guess i’ve made a fool of myself for all the wrong reasons tonight. I was talking to this awesome girl that i’ve been dying to meet and i’ve said the completely wrong thing in a convo. She bailed on the conversation so quickly and i don’t blame her one bit, it’s all on me and my stupid big mouth. Sometimes i’m surprised by my lack of intelligence.
I keep thinking, how could you be such an idiot? And i’m repeating to myself i don’t know, i don’t know..
I seem to blister the finest opportunities, leaving me very little space to recover. I feel so disgusted that she had to experience yet another male give her an excuse to dislike most guys, i think i’m a great guy. Actually i know i’m great and this is no modesty slump or anything it’s what i believe in myself. And this one special girl chose to believe in me, i want to do anything to get that belief back. I will do anything, i want to see that smile again. The one that spreads across her face when i attempt to say something funny to her.
Oh man, it’s been crazy how every text i get from her a smile always appears on my face.
I know i want alot but she’s the boss, and i know it… Can’t i get one chance, that’s all i need.
There’s this girl, she’s pretty cool, she really talented, and she’s incredibly gorgeous…
But yet, i’ve never met her in person.
I can’t wait to finally meet her, and finally end this confusion within myself wondering if this stunning girl is real…
or just a figment of my imagination…
I hope she’s real, so then i can kiss her. aha
I really want a teleporter… like now.
I am so fucking tired of getting shoved into the friend-zone… why can’t girls i show some interest in actually want something more than a level 99 friend? …. Fuck.
I sat next to my friend one night; we delved into the belly of the green beast
He picked up the lighter, the torch in which he would travel to the heavens
He lit the crevice. The sizzling of the vine; so delicately it glowed
The embers flared as the smoke churned and twisted inside the fiery goblet
A billowing ascent that directed our minds into the clouds
I stared at the smoldering goodness that he inhaled; released with a mighty exhale
Like a building gusting out the final dust of its own destruction
There, I watched the haze gradually fade away into nothingness
My bloodshot eyes watched my friend utter “This is your captain speaking, peak altitude reached.”
Baked.
